Third Item

The third item is my reaction to this criticism. Honestly, most of the negative reaction I received was from men. These men were the ones who accused me of using men. They said that I wasn’t taking myself seriously. They claimed that I would never find a relationship with this process.

I think that this critique is more telling of our society and how we view women who willingly promote and publish their personal lives.

We become uncomfortable with real women explaining the details of their love lives. We squirm when the details are revealed, however we simultaneously delight in these facts.

However, I was taken less seriously as a writer because this was the subject I chose to analyze.  This is the thing I have a problem with. When female authors write about sex they are degraded and they are diminished to the genre of “chick lit”.

I am not saying that I was the most journalistic or even the most educational writer. I was doing this for fun. I started it for my friends so they could know what I was up to.  It really grew from there.

However, I did realize it was because I was writing about men in an incredibly honest way, it made men react in a negative way. What I learned is that it is more acceptable for men to write about their sexual exploits than it is for women to write about the same topics.

When women write about their embarrassing, degrading moments for the purpose of entertainment, it cannot be viewed as a statement on social commentary. It is taken at face value. The author, herself is viewed as a kind of floozy. We become uncomfortable.

But here is where the other factors come in. Because the men accused me of not being serious, implying that I should be ashamed of what I wrote, I became embarrassed by my writing. This is what prevents female writers from actually publishing their work. Women have to subscribe to the socially acceptable norms and when they decide to write outside of these norms they are degraded. This prevents women from being taken seriously as writers.

Look for example at many of the “Best of Lists” or the books that are critically acclaimed, many of these novels are written by men and they are reviewed by men. However, women are more likely to buy books than men so these reviews are used as tools to get men to purchase books. Yet the books that women buy are still not regarded with the same critical acclaim that the novels written by men receive.

So when a woman goes outside of these traditions, she is viewed as a threat to the male-dominated field and she is accused of exploiting herself and others.

Again, this was not my purpose. But these are some of the repercussions I had to deal with.

I know this was a long rambling feminist diatribe, but I needed to get it all out there before I decided to write any more on this blog.