Think Points
So I have been on enough dates in order to make some observations and a few analyses of dating behavior in college. Yes, these behaviors are very generalized. No, they do not apply to everyone. But, I think that they can provide some interesting discussion and some deeper reflection, even if these ideas don’t apply to you. Unlike the seminars, the think points will cover the types of people and more specific situations I have encountered while dating, not the general episodes one may encounter on the road to a college relationship. Also, the audience for the "think points" will be women who want heterosexual relationships. Sorry, everyone else.
The actual dark knight
Cloaked in a faced of chivalry, the dark knight performs every duty in the name of politeness. While this initially comes off as a charming characteristic that your future prince has, it is a quality that runs much deeper than a strength that might sweep you off of your feet. This chivalry is a power that the knight will hold above you in all situations. Although this may seem confusing and even contradictory, ultimately the shield of niceness the knight carries allows the man to be a complete and total douche bag.
Clarification
No, I am not saying this about every guy. I am not saying that all nice guys are like this, either. I realize that there are a lot of beautifully wonderful men out there who would never act nice just to gain power and control in a relationship. I am not talking about these men. I am talking about the guys who say they are the wonderful, nice guys, but in reality they are not. I am talking about the men who appear to be nice and are called nice but are jerks.
Definition:
The Dark Knight is a guy who will initially appear very nice. He will open the door for you and be nice to your friends. He’ll get to know your interests. He’ll always hold your honor in the highest of regards. All of his friends will probably say he is a nice guy. It is because he is mostly a nice guy. However, he is nice for the wrong reasons. He is only chivalrous and polite for two reasons. The first reason is to get into your pretty panties. He knows that playing the part of the nice guy will get him so far sexually. He is going to play that card and play that card as hard as he can. He does this because it’s one of his only moves, because really, he isn’t that bright or good looking.
The second reason is because he wants power. The shield of chivalry allows a constant concern for the partner. As the nice guy is always worried about his mate, he ends up controlling and manipulating his partner because he is concerned about her behavior and wants to prevent anything bad from happening from her. Not only does he want nothing bad to happen to her, he doesn't want her to do anything that might put the relationship in jeopardy. While this is normally pretty fair, he will do anything to thwart these things, often resorting to absurd actions. He will also attempt to limit her freedom in the process in the name of love.
Identification
It is very difficult to identify one of these beasts. Because these knights are so skilled in the art of disguise, they maintain the illusion of the nice guy at all times. However, there are a few ways in which to discover these creatures. The first is that the significant others constantly feel guilt. The second is a stream of contradictory behavior.
For example- this is a man who will not hang out with you during the day because he is “diligently studying”. He won’t be able to make any time for you. But when you have that major exam he suddenly “misses” you. Then you must drop everything and run to pay him the attention that he requires. This is the guy who won’t take you to dinner because he wants to take things slow because he is worried about your honor, but as soon as he is a little tipsy he will drunk dial you for a classy- ass booty call. This is the guy who will yell at you for getting too wild at a party because he is worried about your reputation. But at the same time he is doing shot for shot with the biggest guy at the party, turning himself into a human vomit-sprinkler.
What to do
Like with any aspect of dating, you just have to be careful. Ask yourself why this man is being nice. Is he nice because he is truly a nice guy, or is he just looking for something? This question is hard to ask, especially when you are smitten, but it is something that you should think about.
Again- NOT ALL NICE GUYS ARE THE DARK KNIGHT!! Some nice guys are just genuinely nice. However, a lot of tools are smart and pick up the mask of a sweet fool to get some.
ALSO - this is from MY experience. So don't get mad at me... please...
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