So after making plans for 10:30 a.m. following a three a.m. bedtime I obviously fail to meet my new wing woman. We set an additional 12:30 lunchtime just in case. Yet she did not see me or I didn’t wait long enough to see her. In either case, inviting everyone I had met the night before did have its consequences. I ended up meeting with two boys, Canada and Florida, from the previous night, both of whom I’d met and spoken to very briefly.
Anyway, we grab lunch at the Windjammer and try to get to know one another. Getting to know people on cruises is a bizarre experience because you have to cram one entire biography into a few sentences without sounding boring. Additionally when you talk to people who are 18-20 (those who are legal on the islands, yet not on the ship. The very hellish limbo that haunts those who don’t know how to avoid it or can’t have fun in the vacation purgatory) they are only able to talk about the following:
1. Not getting booze
 |
| Florida and Canada |
3. How drunk they get at home
4. How not getting smashed for two days blows
5. How hammered their friends are getting
Needless to say conversation is incredibly limited. Yet I continue to pursue the friendship.
We decide to wander around the ship and attempt to tan. Yet it is so windy that we cannot do so unless we want our iPods to blow away (in fact when we politely put our chairs away they almost fly off of the ship). So we basically wander the ship and explore – doing pretty much what most young people do. We get food sit and chat about our lives and try to get to know each other. In fact, I get to know them so well that I have the privilege of meeting Canada’s father and crazy (drunk) grandmother.
It becomes pretty clear that Florida wants to get with me. However this juiced-out bro doesn’t stand a chance. First of all he is an uber-conservative who only likes gay people when they are hot women who make out with one another freely. Secondly and most importantly is he is a high-schooler. Yes. I hang out with people who are my brother’s age. However, I am desperate for friends so I chill with them without comment. After hot- tubbing for a bit I get ready for dinner but tell them to meet up later at Blaze, the club/bar.
After dinner I try to meet them but fail and my brother gives me a message that my wing woman wants to meet me at karaoke. In the time between my failed meeting and karaoke I wander around the ship some more. While wandering I see a few guys around my age smoking cigars. They wave me over and ask if I want to join them. I, of course, oblige because I am desperate for friends.
This is how I meet Abilene, a plucky high schooler who has the voice of Matt Saracen of Friday Night Lights. He also played football like Matt Saracen and went to a high school where FNL was filmed. So although he is in high school I find him quite adorable (in an "awww" kind of way). We hang out and talk (I use my usual get-to-know-you questions. He doesn’t know what to say- mostly because I don't think he's had a conversation with a woman before). He uses his southern charm to tell me how beautiful I am and points out all of the other guys who check me out. This is high school flirting at its finest.
We go to karaoke in hopes that I see my wing woman. However, my wing woman fails to show up. But we still stay for an hour and make fun of the drunk people who attempt to sing. The high school flirtation continues as he tickles and pokes me. I realize that I have completely forgotten about this kind of elementary flirting and am slightly charmed. I see the other boys, Florida and Canada from earlier in the day and make plans to see them at Blaze. I see Canada’s dad and he chats for a bit and his grandmother is already drunkenly screaming. This is a blast.
We eventually go to Blaze where I dance with the three high schoolers, Canada’sgrandmother and father. Canada’s dad tells me how lucky I am to be dancing with three very attractive men.
This is when I realize that I should be hanging out with people who are in college.
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