The Set-Up
So when I first got asked to go speed dating, I immediately thought of desperate
thirty year-old martini-swilling women. Surely, I am not as desperate as those baby-
hungry cougars. However, this whole affair was to take place on Valentines Day
and what else does a single 20 year old have to do on the day where couples are so violently celebrated? Certainly not sit alone in an apartment, consuming chalky conversation hearts while watching “Friday Night Lights”, that’s for sure.
I refusing to let myself wallow in my singular and lonesome self-pity. No, I was going to rally. Who needs a relationship? I know how awesome I am and Valentines day would be an excuse to demonstrate my awesomeness to everyone I would come in contact with (which hopefully would mostly be single men).
The Experience
So Valentines Day night with the aid of three friends, I venture into the unknown world of speed dating. We fill out forms that request our insurance information and emergency contacts, pay ten dollars (paying ten dollars to date and be dated… is that why they requested insurance information?), have a number placed upon us, and then finally we enter the a small 100-person capacity room with about 160 people. The people in the room are obviously segregated by sex. The women sit on one side, the men on another. In three minutes the pairing would chat and make the deep connection needed to make babies. At the end of three minutes the men would switch seats and attempt to make that connection once again (the very fact that I was not going to have to move during this event thrilled me and told me very clearly that chivalry is not dead).
As beautiful and romantic as this whole scenario sounds – it had a few flaws. The first was that there were considerably more men than women. This problem only made me glad of my lack of Y chromosome. The second problem (other than you know, how the situation makes being single feel like an illness so terrible that the people of this status must be sequestered in tiny spaces AND the fact that LGBT singles wouldn’t be able to meet their match) was that 160 people in a small space make a lot of noise. The noise was so loud that every participant had to either yell or put their faces so close together their noses would be touching, all in order to be heard. Due to the unexpected crowd the speed dating stopped earlier than expected and lead to a mixer, which without and beverage or food, was a complete fail.
Ultimately I go thirty dates. To be quite honest they all pretty much were the same.
Typical Conversation:
If you want the details though, this is how I would spend the three minutes:
Me :(yelling) HI! What’s your name and major?
Him: [incoherent mumbles]
Me: (still yelling) What?!
Him: (getting the hint that he should yell) ANSWER!! You?
Me: Answer
Him: What are you planning on doing with that?
Me: Answer
This is when the conversation could break into three possibilities
Why did you go to Iowa State/ Where are you from?
What do you do for fun?
Him: Response
Me: Witty banter
Him: Repeated Question
Me: Clever response
(Lights turn off signaling the end of the three minutes)
Him: Nice to meet you
Me: You too
Occasionally a witty partner switches the pattern. I attempt this by playing “Would you rather?" However, this does not result into any great unveiling of a deep soul as my would you rather questions of “Would you rather have a tail or a pouch? Fly or be invisible?” are often met with blank stares of utter confusion.
The Interesting Date
Even though this follows a formula I still do have a few memorable dates – or actually maybe just one memorable date. An old man comes through the cycle. I have no idea why he is attending this event, however, my dreams of meeting a serial killer may soon be realized. He talks to me about what he does at Iowa State. I try to talk to him about something –anything- as he brings out a piece of paper with a picture of a man made out of soda boxes. He goes on and on about its creation. I, obviously, react to this by telling him about Andy Warhol.
Results:
So I met a lot of interesting people (and watched a lot of interesting people including sorority girls who were absolutely hammered and would yell out typical absurd drunk phrases whenever an announcement was to be made. Yes. Drunk on a Monday night. Classy) . I talked to people about spelunking, time traveling, flying airplanes, having seven siblings, Radiohead, poetry, GPS driven tractors, motorcycles, dyslexia, Harry Potter, Inception and pho. Also I had the first conflict-free conversations with one of my guy friends. If you know us, you know that this was pretty amazing. After scribbling down several random numbers, as I could not remember anyone’s name. I came away with two matches. We shall see how it goes.
Date: C (While the experience was fun, the set-up was messy and well thirty three minute dates for ten dollars? Plus a mixer instead of actual speed dating? I better be meeting my hubby.)
Match: ??? (I can't make any judgments right now, but I did get two matches and two phone numbers)
Next Time: A re-return?
xoxo Serial Dater
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